Yay! I made it!
End of the quarter here, thankfully. I'm crawling to the finish, but I feel quite fulfilled by the quality of students and the quality of their efforts. I'm also beat. Maintaining this schedule with two kids is horribly tough. I found my attention span to be extremely short, and I found myself going to bed very early. I'm not quite a night owl, but I definitely like having the option of staying up late. Those days are gone.
I'm in a creative rut.
Things that are on my brain these days--finding time for meals, finding time for the gym, finding ways to engage my children that do not involve passive activities. Note, there is no space here for poetry or art and I keep having to tell myself that this is okay and this is understandable.
Sometimes, I have to remind myself that the time for art and composition will present itself, particularly if this is my vocation. Right now, in my gut . . . in the hollow space between my rib cage and my heart, I feel a heavy anxiety that tells me it's time to get back to writing.
So, a lot of things that I try to do in order to get me back into a creative space involves returning to certain rituals. My favorite ritual is taking long stretches of time to read books from cover to cover. Having a 2 and a half year old and pursuing such an activity are in direct opposition. I suppose I could read pages of these books aloud to the two year old, but I imagine he'd try to feed Hot Wheels to his little brother instead of listening.
Another ritual involves cleaning the house, and boy does my house need cleaning.
I felt like a spy today. Saw my two-year-old with his day care group on a field trip around campus. My kid kept falling down because his boots are too big. The poor gal who was watching him had to carry him. I need to get new boots.
I wish I had money so I could buy more books. There are a lot of books that I want to get. *sigh*